#Top10List {1} ~ Life: Things I Wish I'd Known

 

I’m sure there’s a million of things I wish I’d known at 18 – at 20 – at 30 - at 40...

But here’s a few of the first things that come to mind.

**I had this post on my old blog and as soon as I remember my log in credentials will be removing it from there (I did some more editing and adding so it's not the complete original post).

1)   Do Unto Others: This was one of the first things I was taught by my grandma all those years ago. I remember reciting it at 3 or 4, as a toddler, whenever someone wasn’t nice. The thing is, while you should, most won’t. Don’t expect it. Simply set yourself to a higher standard. People will complain if you do to them what they’ve done to you and go on and on to everyone. Don’t play the game. People won’t treat you the way you treat them (for many, that’s a good thing). If you find someone that does – keep them! At the end of the day, the choices they made are on them. Your choices are on you.

2)  Life isn’t fair: Not one bit. Not at all. Work hard and you’ll get what you deserve. Sometimes. Don’t do illegal things and you’ll stay out of trouble. Sometimes. Innocent until proven guilty. Not really. In the world we live in, being a good person and working hard doesn’t always end in your favor. There are too many liars and cheaters that will do anything and run anyone through the mud to get where they want to go. Often, even with proof, the bigger pain in the butt gets what they want to silence them. Sad but true. Still do you.

3)  All small towns are welcoming: Nope. Do your checking if you want to relocate to a small town. Take an extended vacation there -  a few if you can. To this day, many small towns do not welcome outsiders. Rather than feeling like the outsider for a decade, check it out first.

4)  Plan ahead and all will be fine: This is not true. I’ve always been a planner. What I never planned for, that should have been number one – always plan that your plan won’t go as planned. Truth! Most plans rarely go as they’re meant to. Even smaller plans that you work on bit by bit to get to the bigger plan are seldom, if ever, perfect. I’ve tossed the plan book – for the most part – out the window now that I’m in my 40s. I was a slave to it for far too long. Now? Of course we have to plan some things, but for the most part I live for today and I’ve been happier. I've also learned to plan for the worst - when it's even just a bit better than that, you feel a small bit of satisfaction and gratitude.

5)  Most adults are not as happy as they pretend: Seriously, it’s not just you. As we scroll through social media we see all these people posting about on how they bought this or that, millions of pictures of how much was spent under the Christmas tree. Then we see the perfect homes, the bragging about the perfect marriages, the perfect kids, the perfect jobs, and on it goes. No one’s life is perfect, no matter how much they want you to believe it. And, they have people that live by them that know it and are likely pretending right along with them.

6)  Most lives aren’t as terrible as they pretend: Again, social media – take it with a grain of salt. Where there are the ones in number five, there’s the ones here. They’re life is never good. They have nothing to be thankful for. Nothing ever goes right. Doom and gloom is served up in basketfuls. I unfollow them. I’ve been happier. Honest. No one’s life is 24 hours a day and 7 days a week of nothing that ever makes them smile. Don’t let their drama take you on their downward spiral. Life is a mixture of both - we have to learn to embrace it.

7)  Don’t worry over the small stuff: This is so important. Spoiled food that got shoved back in the fridge? Soda exploding all over your kitchen (this literally just happened when my 14-year-old opened a 2 liter 20 minutes ago)? Dog pee on your couch? Really this stuff is little. Yes, you may have an extra smelly dish to wash, a kitchen to clean, or a couch to scrub – it’s not the end of the world. Handle it graciously and don’t get worked up. There are others with far worse problems and there may be a day you have them to. Be grateful, after all it’s just the small stuff.

8)  Pick your battles: Again, this one took me a while to learn. An example, my now 19-year-old son went through a phase of wanting long hair. We had moved a couple years before to a small rural town and he’d not cut it. It was getting more and more noticeable as by then it was as long as mine (maybe even a bit longer). “When are you going to make him cut that hair?” I wasn’t. As I explained again and again – he wasn’t smoking or doing drugs (a huge problem in this little town), he wasn’t being abusive to anyone or having underage sex. He cleaned his room. He played sports. He got all As and Bs in school. He gave his winter coat – off his back – to a boy at school that didn’t have one, knowing I’d go buy him another. If the worst thing is the long hair, I was happy to take it. Pick your battles. (For the record, he did end up cutting it short about half way through his freshman year and donated over 18 inches to Locks of Love.)

9)  Wrong is wrong: It doesn’t matter who is doing it. It’s wrong. For so long it was embedded to people around me that family is family and friends are friends. If they do wrong, that doesn’t change. You love them anyway. Sometimes that works out – but there are limits (or should be) to everything. I was criticized for so long by a husband and their family for that. Murder is murder and not forgivable – rape is rape – and so on. Don’t let anyone change your opinion. Some things aren’t ok and they don’t have to be, no matter who did it. And that’s ok too.

10)  No matter what you do, some people will never like you: Another hard one for me. Sometimes you can do everything, and people will still dislike you or feed the rumor mill on things you’ve never done. Let them go. It’s not worth the time. Spend your energy on those that like and love you. The rest is water under the bridge. No one needs a million people for friends. It’s ok if your circle is small. Let it be. Quality over quantity also refers to friendships. You and God know the truth & that's all you need to know in order to feel comfort.

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